Tinuloy ko na bili ng doll kahit feeling guilty ako. Ayokong kinakain ng guilt ko. Saka gusto ko magkaroon ako ng feeling na kaya ko magdesisyon mag isa. Wag lang tumingin palagi sa shopee app ko. Look forward nalang. Panindigan ko na. Kailangan chill lang pag dumating yung package para di paghinalaan, nagcommit na ko na gusto ko yung doll eh. Masakit man tanggapin pero ayoko ng feeling na pinanghihinaan ako kasi naaawa ako sa sarili ko.
Nasa shop na yun kung legit naman walang problema, magwait lang ako ng matagal dahil preorder. If ever di nila padala, ok then good hayaan nalang icancel ng shopee system. Tibayan ko nalang loob ko, maging resilient, imanhid yung feelings. Problema ko kasi impatient lang ako lalo na di responsive si seller. Nahihirapan talaga ako more than 10x dahil sa anxiety ko. God forbid nalang.
Self, malalagpasan mo din to, dapat ipromise mo last na ito or 2nd to the last if talagang gusto mo din yung isang doll. Pero kay Red ko na padala yun if ever pero hopefully sana wag ko na idesire yun. Pero last na yan lahat. Promise mo na yan sa sarili mo. Wala nang bawian. Then after that hanap ka na work next year at bumawi sa mga kamalian mo.
Lord kayo na po bahala, pagod na ko sa isip ko kakalaban o bawi. Masyado na mental anguish sa akin kasi. Honestly, I am not really proud of this. I scare myself ahead ng mga possible consequences of my actions. I pray di naman ito maging dahilan para mag away uli kami ni mama. Please Lord wag naman. I know well and am aware sa pagkakamali ko. Pero sana this will not pave way sa mga kamalasan sa buhay ko dahil sa maliit na bagay lang. Makuha ko lang to please, huhuhu. Sorry self, sorry God, sorry mama… Please sana wag po kayo magalit lahat. Mahal ko po kayo. Sana walang madamay sa mga maling desisyon ko. Lord 😭😭😭
Mind, move forward from now on!
Relax, Take It Easy
Song by Mika
Took a ride to the end of the line
Where no one ever goes
Ended up on a broken train with nobody I know
But the pain and the longing’s the same when you’re dying
Now I’m lost, and I’m screaming for help alone
Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you
It’s as if I’m scared
It’s as if I’m terrified
It’s as if I’m scared
It’s as if I’m playing with fire
Scared
It’s as if I’m terrified
Are you scared?
Are we playing with fire?
Relax
Oh, there is an answer to the darkest times
It’s clear, we don’t understand it
But the last thing on my mind
Is to leave you, I believe that we’re in this together
Don’t scream, there are so many roads left
Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you
Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you
Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you
Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you
It’s as if I’m scared
It’s as if I’m terrified
It’s as if I’m scared
It’s as if I’m playing with fire (relax)
Scared
It’s as if I’m terrified
Are you scared?
Are we playing with fire?
Relax
Relax
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